Understanding Amid Differences
Why is understanding amid differences important?
What makes it difficult to understand certain people or groups?
What does it take to truly understand another?
What does it take to be truly understood by others?
What do you wish people understood about you?
How can we promote deeper understanding in our own relationships and communities?
How can learning to better understand others help us better understand ourselves? Have you ever experienced this personally?
What would a more understanding world look and feel like?
What's something you want to take from this conversation into this weekend?
Does understanding mean we know the truth about someone? Is there even a truth? Or are there two truths - yours and the other persons? And between the two truths understanding looks more like a shared common ground. In this understanding, there is no “right” or “wrong” because that would imply judgment. If we have judgment, are we incapable of understanding one another fully?
As we discussed further, this idea of coming from a place of observation in the conversation or situation rather than a place of judgment allowed for one to be more understanding of the other. That makes sense because as we open our minds to observe the other persons perspective, we in turn become more aware of others and our surroundings. We move from ourselves into a bigger picture of the entire situation. These observations help us to merge our truth and others’ truth into an understanding as described above.
But truth is based on experience, right? The scientific method of creating a hypothesis, testing it, and seeing results. If the results match your hypothesis then it is now a truth, right? Similarly our individual experiences work the same way. Our truth is based on our thoughts and feelings going into a situation is our hypothesis, our behavior during the experience is like the testing stage, and finally the consequences of the experience are the results. As we have similar experiences over and over in our lives, such as driving back and forth to work, or eating at your favorite restaurant, you start to develop a truth about that situation. We can apply this to all aspects of our lives. But they way you experience life is much different than mine. It has to be. As unique individuals, we all experience life in our own ways. How is it that I can really understand your experience in such a way as similar to my own?
Take cultural differences for example. Wherever and however you grew up, the people, the environment, and the situations involved are different from culture to culture. What can we learn from other cultures? Many things of course everything from new phrases, behaviors, traditions, patterns, cuisines - you name it - and as we come to experience these for ourselves, our truth on life becomes more culturally diverse. Multicultural people, or those who have had the opportunity to immerse themselves for longer periods of time in multiple cultures, how much do they really understand all the cultures? From talking to multicultural people in the group, you can understand the ways of multiple cultures but it is common to feel more comfortable or have a greater understanding about one culture over the other. Being a nomad between cultures makes you a very unique individual indeed.
As we interact with more people, we have the ability to spread our understanding in many directions. Thinking of the friends in your life, do you have many or few? For those with many, your spread tends to go further in multiple two-dimensional directions. For those with fewer friends, your understanding tends to go deeper as you become very well acquainted with these individuals. How can we both spread and deepen our understanding of others? Traca Savadogo had a beautiful TedTalk all about why we should all be talking to strangers to help us achieve this goal of becoming more understanding of one another. This is also known as the hitchhikers effect.
Is it really understanding we are seeking or curiosity? Being intentionally curious opens the doors to gaining great insights about another persons life. Having bumpers, or intentions, along with a good preface to setting up the conversation leads to great connection and communication. Through talking to others, we not only learn more about them but also a lot about ourselves. Everyone just wants to be understood just as much as we do. When we really truly resonate, or understand, something someone else has experienced that is similar to our own experience, we create a deeper bond with that person and feel more empathy.
Keep exploring conversations. What conversations are you going to strike up with a stranger today?
