A Reason, A Season, or A Lifetime

A Reason - People meet a need you have and in turn expressed assistance, guidance, support, and/or aide. Then these people go. They walk away, make you choose, or they die. Our need has been met and our desires fulfilled. It is time to move on.

A Season - These people are there to share, grow, and/or learn with you. They bring you peace or make you laugh, a lot. They teach you new things and give you so much joy.

A Lifetime - These people are rare. They teach you a lifetime of lessons and create a solid emotional foundation. Love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant (having or exhibiting an ability to perceive events in the future or beyond normal sensory contact).

Who are these people in your life? Can you remember your childhood and the kids of adult figures you had in your life? Which of these groups did they fall into? What about in high school? What about your younger adult years? What about now?

We’ve all had people who have come into our lives for a reason. Maybe these people are those we meet at the checkout counter of a store. They help us with our purchases. Maybe its the police when they help you home after a night out drinking a bit too much. Maybe its a stranger who decided to talk to you that encouraged you to change your life for the better. It might not even be a person. Maybe it’s a song you heard at that place that inspired you to do something, or a book you read that helped you see something from a new light.

These people who are in our lives for a reason are temporary. Maybe they pop up in again here and there, but that just means we have not gotten what we needed from them. But there comes a point where these people could start as a reason and become a season.

People who are in our lives for a season go a step further than those for a reason. There is still a reason the seasonal people are in our lives sure ,but they also are there to expand with you. My friend Brian Helfman always says, “Everyone has something to learn and something to teach.” At the seasonal level, I believe this is where we start to see the learning and teaching taking place. People like your teachers, your coworkers, your neighbors, those people you meet on spring break trips, and maybe even friends who have come and gone. Family members like your grandparents or parents are also only in your life for a season; it is inevitable that they will pass away before you do, giving them a limited time in your life.

These people, the seasonal people, are very memorable. Sometimes they might be the hardest to let go. These people bring us so much joy, love, and laughter but for this or that reason, they eventually leave. These people might find a new career opportunity in another city, they start a family, the semester ends and you move on, your coworkers get a new job at another company, the spring break trip ended, or your friends naturally drift into the next season of their own life. And sometimes we are not ready for these people to be gone but their time with us is up.

Finally we have those who are in our lives for a lifetime. Those are few and far between. Brothers and sisters, blood-relatives or not, they are in your life for the long haul. Your best friends you make along the way - the ones who are with you through the thick and thin, for the good and bad, and everything in-between. Your soulmate, significant other, lover, or partner is likely to be one more to this exclusive list along with maybe your children. Those that make the list of life-timers, they are something very special. There is a sacred bond between you and these other people, one of deep emotional connection, respect, understanding, and unconditional love. These are the people that you see when you close your eyes and see your future.

These are the people we hold dearest to our hearts. They are the first people we want to call when we have good news or when we need help. They are the ones we want at our highest highs and lowest lows. These are the people who made it past the levels of reasons and seasons. Treasure them.

But what about ourselves? When are we a reason for others? When have we been a season for others? Who are we going to be a lifetime for? Do we even notice when, why, or how we are a reason, a season, or a life time for someone else? Are there any relationships we wish we could change our status from one to another? How can we do so? And how are we going to be there for our life-timers?

Some big takeaways from thinking through this are:

People who are in our lives for a reason assist, guide, support and aide us in whatever way necessary. Let’s be sure to be those reasons for others.
There is a reason those who are in our lives for a season is only a season - look for the lessons we can learn from them to grow.
When we know our season is coming to an end with anther, acknowledge, accept it, and move on.
Those who are in our lives for a lifetime, love and cherish them.
Know when someone is meant to be in one category even though we so desperately want them to be in another.
The only constant is change - being comfortable with the ebb and flow of relationships is the key.